Every year, during the end of December and beginning of January, I think over the year. I think about my life, my relationships, my activities, my family, and life in general. I think about how last year went, what happened, what shouldn't have happened, and what I could have done differently.
Something happened to me over the last year that I really am not proud of. I became complacent, settling for less than what I wanted. I compromised more than I should have. I tried to be a gentler person with a sweet disposition and instead, I got treated like a doormat. Instead of speaking plainly of life and what I wanted, I tried to hide behind my own fears of upsetting people. In a way I have been pretty sad over a lot of things because I allowed others' disapproval rule my life.
You see, I am more afraid of people walking away from me and people not respecting me than anything else in my life. No one should have to live life like this. No one should be that afraid of being who they are and sacrificing themselves at the altar of others' approval.
This year, I am not living like that anymore. If I have something to say, I will say it. I have a lot of opinions that I keep buried for fear of hurting those around me or making them angry. I will say it because this is my blog and I should be able to share them. I will still be posting about the informational and helpful things that make life easier and simpler, but I will also be posting my thoughts and opinions too.
This year, I am living without compromising myself. I am living without apologies to others about my life. How I chose to live and how I chose to raise my family is exactly that - my choices. I don't make many decisions on the spur of the moment and please know I do many things because I have a good feeling about the rightness of the decision. The people I have in my life are there for a good reason and because I genuinely like them. I am grateful that they make me a part of their life and want them to feel the same.
You would think that as an adult I would be secure in myself and who I am. Not so. Life changes, throws many curve balls, and we are constantly reassessing and re-evaluating what we need to and how we should live. Sometimes we need to sit back and take a hard look at our life.
Do you love your life?
Do you love yourself?
No one is going to magically make your life better. No one is going to make your circumstances better. I am a complete believer in blooming where you are planted and making the best of your life in the time you are alive. This is what I need to do and everyone should do.
Does that mean you should quit your job and let your current obligations go? No it does not. If your marriage or current relationship is making you unhappy, figure how to fix your marriage or relationship. If your job is making you unhappy, then you need to figure what you love or you need to change your circumstances. I happen to really, really like my job, mostly because of the people and also what I do. Would I like to be a writer or open up a used bookstore? You bet because writing and reading are my two favorite activities, but I have found a way to dabble in both. And I am happy with that for now.
This year, the theme will be to not compromise in life and in writing; to share what I have to say; to live without fear of hurting others; to go after what I want and what is best for my family. Life is a journey, an adventure and who wants to live with regrets or wondering what could have changed when one no longer has the chance to change their life?
Thanks for reading! Have a great day!